I’m sorry but I’d rather be getting high than watching my family die


I’ve lost pretty much everything and everyone at this point

eyotia asked: Hey Alex, So you've traveled all over the world, and you seem to have met a lot of interesting people along the way. My question is, are you satisfied with life?


I saw this and thought about this question so much I almost lost sleep over it. my initial reaction was to be offended. satisfied. SATISFIED?! I don’t like that word. to me it sounds like settling, like giving up, like stopping.

I have not been around the world, I’ve been to 3 new countries since I left. every day I’m in Tokyo I gaze around with an overwhelming sadness that I will never be able to see every nook and cranny of Japan in my lifetime. I think about all the movies I won’t be able to watch, all the people I’ve never met, all the things I haven’t experienced. 

so what? I made some new friends and accomplished a handful of goals. you think I would put my hands on my hips and say “that’s good ENOUGH” and go back to my previous life in Seattle? I had a fantastic wonderful life back in Seattle—but I wasn’t satisfied. most people with a fantastic house, friends, family, job and significant other would be satisfied. that’s the dream, right? I wasn’t satisfied. I had such a strong repulsion to a settled life, I was distraught every day until I went on this adventure.

am I happy, excited, hopeful, driven, curious, motivated and pumped up? fuck yeah!! satisfied? probably never! do you play a video game half-way, get a little EXP points, a medium-powered up sword and say “ok, I’m satisfied” and turn off the game? FUCK NO!

once you reach goals you make NEW goals.
when you meet new people you share your thoughts, life, time, ideas together and your ideals might alter.
you see new things and experience new places you go down different paths and things change. you and your life is in constant change depending on where you go and who you meet. it’s a journey, man. 

who could be fucking SATISFIED?! There’s SO MUCH I don’t know!

Even if in 20 years I become queen of the world, I would look up to the stars from my bedazzled throne and say “but there are other planets out there…”